2002-11-24
Don't Give Up
I hate Sundays. They are incredibly depressing as of late. I wish I could have a time machine and fast-forward 5 years. Things would have to be more interesting then than they are now, and I don't doubt that I'd be a lot happier. The idea of a time machine begs a lot of questions, such as "If one could fast-forward 5 years ahead and were depressed when they did so, would they just be more depressed 5 years from now, or would they be happier?" and others, but I'll leave those alone for now. I'm soo tired, which is ridiculous, because this afternoon I slept from 1:30-3 something. I didn't get in terribly late last night, either (11, but I went to bed around 12), and got up at 7. . . Gah, perhaps this week will prove to be more interesting than the recent ones past. I was in church tonight, and I was thinking to myself that I'm not terribly happy about anything right now, and I don't have anything I'm really looking forward to, which is kinda sad, b/c this week is Thanksgiving, and a bunch of friends of mine will be coming down, but I'm not really *excited* about that. I don't know, it's just a bit hard to get too excited about people acting like I don't exist until there's a special occassion. It sucks. Christmas is coming up soon, too, but I'm not excited about that at all. There's just something about growing up. . . I dunno. As I was saying, I was in church thinking about all this tonight,and I was thinking "I give up", and no sooner had that thought completed itself than Jevon, the guy who was preaching tonight, turned and looked straight at me and (this was what the message was about) said, "Don't give up on what you're praying about. Keep praying until that thing manifests." Man, my faith is running low, but I guess I'll give it another try. It's gotta be better than me crying all the time. This is utterly ridiculous; I cannot believe I have let myself get so down and blue. I will now shut up about feeling sorry for myself and go pray. Goodnight.
aigre-douce at 10:25 p.m.