2003-07-03

Happy birthday, bellyring! I have now been nineteen for one month.

Wow. This day has really been chock-full.

James is still away, will be back (or so the story goes) tomorrow. I can't wait. I wish he'd be back sooner, so we really could spend the whole day together. But as it is, he and Josh will be getting into town around 12-1, then it will be the three of us all day. Woot. Sounds like fun.

Tomorrow is Kim's Fourth of July potluck. James and I and Josh and I are taking vegetarian food. Should be fun. Hopefully. I really don't think it will be, because of the people that will be there, but honestly, it doesn't really matter. I told her I'd be there, so that's that, I guess. I'm looking forward to the fireworks.

I really do like Josh, and I love that James is that close to someone. I just wish I could relax tomorrow, and I can't. Because I always feel like I have to represent and maintain a certain Lauren to the public. It's exhausting. It's not even that important or special, I'm just already worn out. Aaron took the last of my livelihood, I'm afraid. Sucked it dry.

Saw Aaron today. Totally wasn't expecting that at all. Mom had told me she needed to have a serious talk with me this morning. She sits me down outside, first argues with me over withdrawing from biology, then tells me that I have to save all my money because it's absolutely necessary I buy a car....within the month. Yeah, that's not going to happen, easily, anyway. My god. At any rate, he calls and asks if he can drop by. After me telling him I'd just woken up and to give me time to clean up, he stopped by. It was weird. I'd tried to be diplomatic, and my "I don't give a fuck" attitude just ran rampant instead. I didn't want that to happen, but my survival mode just kicked in, I guess. I dunno. I looked cute. I made sure to make my hair look like I didn't do anything with it (no flip for him!), wore jeans and a tank he had commented on, and little makeup. And even got complimented. He was all like,"Lauren, don't do that." "Don't do what?" "You girls do this thing, and somehow you're even more attractive after everything's been broken off. It's like one last attempt." I looked at him straight in the eye and was like, "Definitely not. You can keep that, I don't ever want to feel that way again." I think he was a little stunned that I came out and said that. I am bitter. I'm trying not to be and failing miserably. It was a light relationship, and he didn't even want that. I mean, I never asked him for that, never suggested it. But he started feeling warm towards me, and when he did, he couldn't take it. He has "nothing left to give" , and just couldn't do it. So that's that. And I'm his last girl, so he said. He doesn't want any sort of relationship right now, but when he does start wanting one, it won't be with anyone with female genitalia. I hope that changes. Not for me, I just would like to see him with girls. Sigh. :( And this time there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, and I acted almost perfectly. Go figure. It just wasn't meant to be, I suppose. At all. Wow.

As for what the big talk with my mom was about....

Our car has finally completely died, leaving me with no transportation to school/work/etc. Today Aaron did offer to take me anywhere I needed until I can work out a car thing. I needed to hear that. It's good that we'll still be friends. And that's why. At any rate, I now HAVE to buy a car within the next month or so, before Mom has to go back to work, leaving no one to chauffeur me around. Sucks for me. That's what I have to say. Have found out that no matter if Barrett gives me 40 hours or not, with the job I have, there's no way I can buy a car. And if I buy a Kia, they have great deals, but they'll want me to have a full-time job....so I definitely have to go job hunting. Which really sucks, as seeing how no one I know has been able to get one lately. Gahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I love my job, I don't want to leave it. What will I do without Barrett?? Bagahh!!

Onto good news!

I talked to Barrett about the seniority/grunt work thing this evening, and it worked out perfectly. Too bad I won't be there much longer...

Got my bellyring changed today... it is now...wait, forgot James reads this. Will edit this page after I see him tomorrow. It's super cute. Or so I think. What would be hot is a skull and crossbones bellyring, but I've yet to find one. So there.

Now on to the super great news.

I had a Schmirnoff Ice at Tony's today! No, just kidding. I mean, I did, but it wasn't exactly the highlight of my day...and I'm not fifteen.

This evening at work (after having hung out with him all day today), my good friend Tony calls to tell me he's been thinking, and he has an idea... That since he already has a two-room apartment in Tuscaloosa, that I can come in the spring and stay with him, rent-free. All I have to do is help keep the place tidy and help out with the groceries. How hott is that. Free place at UA. I'm so excited, that's some of the best news I could have gotten. He called me back to suggest that I just take spring semester off, and just stay in Tuscaloosa and work, since the job opportunities are better there. And depending on how things go, I just may. I think that's amazing. Thank you Tony for making my week. Because that put a smile on my face like whoa.

And I'm dead tired.

Today when I went to get my bellyring changed, I asked Tim, the guy who does it, what his plans were. He said he was working at the club, and I was like, "Fun, fun." His response was, "It can be, but some of the girls are really beginning to annoy me...." It was then I remembered that my piercing guy also is a deejay for strip joints. How quaint. Piercings, tattoos, and strippers. Hott. At any rate, we got to talking about the kind of girls that work there (apparently his 'old lady' is a stripper), and he told me I could work there, making $400 a night/weekend. I thought about it, but will definitely probably not do that. I told James about that conversation, and he was like, "No!" Thinking he meant the profession was slutty, I listened, and he finished "If you do that, we're moving to the city so it can at least be in a nicer establishment!" Now that's something I'd never heard before. But I suppose it's good to know that if I seriously considered stripping, my boyperson would make sure it was in a nice area. Makes me laugh. Has no problem with stripping, just has to be a nice place to do so. Good to know.

With that said. I'm extremely tired, and I do believe Harry Potter/bed is calling my name.

Wow, just got done talking to Jess. Jess as in, Fletcher's ex. Fletcher being the cause of all that drama earlier this summer. Jess is such a sweetheart, I love her to death.

Nighty night.

For you:

Don't know why the bars aren't showing up, sorry. Luya.

My Favorite Male Part Is: The Back: Behind every good man is a good back. Ignore the whip scars... Find out your favorite male body part!

aigre-douce at 10:17 p.m.

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