2002-12-25
Joyeaux Noel!
Today Leighton woke me up at 6:30, with "Lauren, it's Christmas!" "So it is," I mumbled, and rolled back over. It's sad that I haven't been excited at all this year about Christmas. When I woke up, I thought, "Whoa, it's early", not "Wow, it's Christmas!" Kinda sad. When everyone finally got in the livingroom and we started opening gifts, it got a lot better, though. My little sister gets so excited every year about everything, and it's so cute. I mean, she's ten, so it's not like this is really new for her, but she still gets excited, which makes me a little warmer inside. Cameron, who finds a reason every year to piss and moan didn't even have any complaints.
He was a little bummed at first, because he'd asked for a skateboard, so, being funny, my dad bought him a TechDeck and put it in his stocking. It was even an Elements TechDeck, and he'd asked for an actual Elements board. Funnily enough, Cam wasn't too amused. He was super happy when he found his board, though. Chandler got his guitar (Dear God, give me patience!) and of course, was quite appeased with that. Unlike the rest of us, Chandler can get next to nothing and still be happy. I envy that about him; I've never been able to be that unselfish, and I dislike myself for it. Mom and Dad were able to get each other loads of stuff for once, which I'm sure they both appreciated. They always have to sacrifice gifts for each other so the kids will have more stuff, but this year (I guess thanks to my dad's promotion, maybe?), it was different. I had a nice Christmas (morning), too. Chandler got me this mug with Starry Night screened on it, which is only my favorite piece of art ever, and of course I'll use it a bunch -- coffee, what, what? Mom got me some decaf chai, so I can have my coffee and my chai without worrying too much about my caffeine intake (which has gotten dangerous;as I've become a huge glutton for it).
My dad got me some of the best gifts ever, which was really nice b/c my dad and I usually don't get along, but I guess he really is trying to fix things between us. He got me this super cute (Paul Frank) tee. It's long-sleeved and pink (whee!) and it has Julius (the monkey) with a French mustache (yes, there's a difference!) and a beret, which I loved because I love all things French so much. It warmed my heart. I've missed French so much! I took French 1, 2, and 3 (not that I was great at it, but I just loved it so much!) in high school and was in the French Club all 3 years (geek that I am!) and was even an officer my senior year. You can imagine my vast disappointment upon finding out that the junior college I am currently attending only offers Spanish 1 and 2, which I just refuse to take. I've really missed French, so I feel lots better after having gotten (is that a word?) that tee today. I also got some cutie striped Julius socks, which is always nice. The best part about all that is that my dad got that stuff for me when he was on a business trip (ie, he knows me well enough to get stuff I love without me picking it out!).
Mom's been on me for the longest time about getting a charm bracelet (originally she wanted to get semi-matching bracelets for me, her, and Leighton.), so I wasn't too surprised when I started to unwrap one "from Santa" this morning. . . until I saw that it was a GOLF charm bracelet! Here's the thing of it - I'm not preppy in the least, but a few summers ago, my cousin's then-boyfriend , Kai, taught us how to play golf (or tried to, bless him), and made us watch that year's US Open (<3Tiger<3 won), and I've been obsessed ever since. I can't play at all, though. I mean, I'm really bad, but it's the only sport I'm even semi-interested in. I make everyone watch golf whenever Tiger's playing, etc. It's not something that anyone I'm close to is interested in, either. And it's definitely not something my dad plays. I think this obsession might also have something to do with the fact that Dynamite Hack's "Boys in the Hood" video was in heavy rotation then, which, of course I loved. I mean, golf and rap? How can you mess that up??! (I loooooove rap, btw). So, of course, I was eaten up with the novelty of my super wonderful charm bracelet.
I also got an Allure subscription, which I've wanted for years, so that was great, too. And I got Mary-Kate and Ashley boxers in a Pucci print (despite the fact that those were in little girls'. . . hahahaha) and some cute pink and gold bikini skivvies, as well as a pack of winter-themed undies. I love underwear!
On top of all that, I got the recently re-released My Dream of Heaven (originally published as Intra Muros) by Rebecca Ruter Springer, which I've REALLY wanted. It's an amazing nineteenth century classic of a woman's vision of heaven. I believe her. Plus, one of my favorite ministers wrote the foreword and aferword, so that makes it that much better. On the entirely different hand (I'm multifaceted, but does that mean I'm a hypocrite?), I also got Echo by MY MOST FAVORITE AUTHOR OF ALL TIME, FRANCESCA LIA BLOCK!!! I caressed that book and held it against my cheek! I'm so excited about that. I still haven't got that book that Jessica ordered for me (the one she lost), which dampens my spirits, but only minimally. Leighton got me this great embroidered and beaded silk/nylon tank/camisole, which I'm very excited about, too. I just hope it fits.
To top it all off, my dad bought me the Relient K cd (Christian poppy punk), which made me happy. I was even happier when I opened it and found one of the band members (Matthew Hoopes?) wearing a Dashboard Confessional tee. It's good to listen to Christian bands that like Dashboard, I think. And of course I like Relient K, they're only produced by TOBY MCKEEHAN OF DC TALK! Man, DC Talk and I go back to 2nd grade! I need to get back to my Christian roots. . . but I know as soon as I say that, I'll go in the completly opposite direction. Yeah, I guess I am a hypocrite. Or human. Whichever.
After we opened presents, cleaned up, and ate breakfast (Chrismas Casserole! Eggs, bread, and sausage, it's soooo good, and I hate eggs AND sausage!), I laid down on my parent's bed and napped. I had the best dream. It was so intricate, it was amazing. In my dreams, everything is usually very abstract (like the time I had to hold on to a balloon to *stay* on the ground, otherwise I was dragged into the sky. . . ), so I'm lucky if one character keeps the same face the entire dream, ya know? Anyway, in my dream, apparently I was lovers or something with this older man (somehow I knew it was Elliott inside), but it was really horrible. Like, I don't know exactly what was up with our relationship, but apparently he was being bitter because he was old, but I was trying to hold on to him. . . and I remember one part where I was hugging him around his waist (becuase he was that much taller than me. . . yeah.) and I asked him what was wrong, and he said, "I just feel bad because I'm wasting your time, and using up your youth." or something to that effect, but it meant the same thing. Like I was spending all my time on him, but he was going to die, and I was just wasting my youth and time on something that was going nowhere (parallels???). It made me kind of sad, and when he dropped me off at my house (apparently I had just moved with my family to this huuuuge house, but hadn't gotten to check it out yet), we both knew it was the end of everything and he was mean because he was bitter and proud. So I walk in the house the back way (it was a mansion) and decide to surprise my parents by strolling into the kitchen coming from a different way. . . and got lost, exploring the house. If you've ever read or seen Harry Potter, you're familiar with the moving staircases, and those were in my dream, ony you could decide how to move them, and they were a creamy beige marble. So I'm getting lost in the stairs, and I reached a part where the stairs end and they're carved like angel wings, and you have to climb up to other stairs. . . it was amazing. There were these little trapdoors that took you to other places, too, some shaped like coffins. Contrary to this description of my dream, I don't consider myself to be very gothic (although I went to Quizilla- which I found by searching for Weetzie Bat stuff- and took a "What Kind of Goth Would You Be?" quiz, and found I would be a "Velvet-Mopey Goth"). Anyway, there were staircases like craaaazy all throughout that dream, even long wooden (white!) staircases outside (that I think lead to gardens). Anyway, it was such a beautiful and intricate dream, and besides the creepy older guy I was involved with (though, how appropiate!), it was a dream I'd rather not have woken up from. Waaaait, I ate breakfast AFTER I took that nap. Not that it makes any difference, I'm just saying. I'm so impressed that the dream had as much detail as it did, that my brain would come up with something like that when I leave it to its own defenses. It's amazing the way God made us. I will, of course, try to find out what being lost, staircases, marble, and coffins are supposed to symbolize in dreams later. I think there's something to that, though I'm not extreme about it.
To make this day more perfect, I should. . . watch Amelie on the new dvd player, yeah! I'll make my parents watch it too, so they can have that child-like wonderment (Amelie) inspires, even if it only lasts for a day. My sister got a Nancy Drew computer game, which I plan to learn how to play sometime before the end of the day, too. For the whole family's Christmas, we got a dvd/vcr player, a tv, and a printer. Of course, however, I didn't get a single practical thing I asked for (and need). Like I desperately need new blinds for my room (those things that parade as my dow coverings aren't fooling anyone!), but of course I didn't get them. Or a thing of cd-rs. NO, that'd just be too easy and convenient. But it's cool, b/c I'll inevitably get money from someone, so I suppose I'll take it and use it on such items.
About that dream. . . the reason I think the man sort of represented Elliott is that not only was he the exact height and had some of the same mannerisms, but the conversation. . . I have a sneaking suspicion Elliot will say something like that if we ever get to discussing what's going on between us. Like, he'll probably say something about feeling bad about keeping me to himself (while he's been here for the holidays), since it can't/won't really go anywhere, like he's just been using up my 'precious time'. What's funny (sort of) is that right before I fell asleep, I wished for clarity and joy for Christmas, and then I had that dream, which gave me some clarity in that I know Elliott probably will say that and it won't go anywhere, but I got joy, too, because of the intricate designs in my dream. And joy because God is so neat and wonderful. Merry Christmas.
aigre-douce at 12:30 p.m.