2003-02-04
This Afternoon
I'm so tired of everything right now. On my way to class today I reflected that there's not a single thing I'm excited or really happy about right now, one thing that I can think of that immediately puts a smile on my face. Nothing. Now, there are a few people that cheer me up, but that's it. I'm so tired of feeling the way I do when it comes to Elliott. And by that I don't mean my feelings for him, but my feelings about him. Okay, for instance; I talked to him a little Sunday night, and he had to go, but deemed the next night 'Lauren Night', and said we'd be able to talk a lot then (as in, he made it a priority). However, the boy didn't even get on until 10 last night, and I was hella mad (not that I let it show). Then he had to make a phone call, and after that his mom called him (and obviously he's not going to try to carry on conversations with both of us). So we didn't actually get to talk until 11, and then he was being really silly. I'm sick, not in a great mood (I'm really funny about being blown off, crazy), and I was trying to finish an essay for English. I can't stand silly people when I'm stressed and/or in a bad mood. I mean, I had every right to be angry, but I tried to keep it under wraps. We chatted for about an hour (oh, AIM), then he had a 'prior engagement' to attend to (he had to go watch some show w/his buddies). It really makes me mad that I don't get to talk to him often (no, I don't consider maybe 30 minutes every night on AIM often) and then he just acts silly when we do get to talk. I mean, he's not like this all the time, but still. I just want to give up. I mean, obviously if he doesn't even take it into consideration that I DO have class the next day and therefore he might want to get on earlier (b/c sleep is an issue), and then stays on the phone (not w/his mom) forever, then I'm obviously not much of a priority to him. He did apologize about being on so long w/his mom, but 1) I'm not worried about that, and 2) It's nothing he could control, anyway. Puh.
I stayed up and did all my readings/homework for my classes today, especially for Mass Communications . . . only to find out that Mr. Scott was sick and therefore didn't come to class (8 in the morning, folks, with my next class at 9:30) and to be talked down to and insulted by Dr. Smith (I swear, one day I'm going to tie him down and rip out/wax his eyelashes. Bastard.) on my paper, which I thought I'd done well on. I hate him.
On the bright sides, Simon was especially nice today, as was Ricky and Brian. And when I was leaving my philosophy class, Mr. Morrow stopped me and asked if I was still interested in Romanticism (yes!) and said that he'd planned how to work it in (since our book skips right over it). What a sweetheart, I'm so excited about that. Sadly, it won't be until the end of the semester, after we've covered Ethics (or right before), but it's something to look forward to.
That Simon. I walked into the office today, and immediately Simon was like, "Lauren! What's up?" I don't remember what I said (possibly "Ugh, I'm going to die," but I believe I was referring to the fact that my head was still spinning from Philosophy - Parmenides was insane- or the fact that I had English next), but Simon was like, "Picked up the flu, huh? I hope you feel better. Good luck on your paper." I love Simon, he is the light of my day. He and Kim, that is. Kim's such a sweetheart. She drives me to school everyday and always cheers me up. I especially enjoyed her hardcore dancing on my front lawn yesterday afternoon, as did my neighbors, haha. Today she helped me cut my bangs, yay! And she has the best music of anyone I know. Man, I am now looking forward to the show Friday. And hanging out with Desiree after. And watching the continuation of the Gordo's-crush-on-Lizzie situation on Lizzie Maguire sometime this weekend. God bless the makers of that show. It's so good. I won't lie, I would definitely throw down for that show. What I love is suddenly Disney is obsessed with journalism; Lizzie and Gordo are both on the school paper (as am I, haha, Lizzie and I even both do advice columns), and Raven in So Raven (or whatever it's called, I'm not a big fan) and her best friend are also on their school paper. How cute is that? I enjoy this immensely, as I've had people tell me I remind them of Lizzie Maguire's character. So good, so good.
Well, to insure I don't have another morning like today (hunting clothes all over the house, only to find them in the washer or dryer), I'm going to go and do laundry. I'm sure later I will clean my room and pick up the remnants of my pride and rework my English paper. Hate that man. That's okay, he's old, has liver spots on his hand, and will die before I do. HaHAH! Take THAT, hateful old man! He and Mrs. Bracewell (my sr. English teacher. . . biiiiitch) can burn in hell together. It's sad, b/c I've always done exceedingly well in English, and have always taken the advanced courses and done well in them, and today he had the audacity to tell me that "apparently nobody's ever taught you this before. It's okay, it's not YOUR fault." No, the problem, jackass, was not that I had not been taught that, but that I confused my subject matters. Asshole. Well, I'm going to quit venting, therapeutic as it is, and go take a caffeine pill so I can wake up (hopefully my sinus medicine will be working better soon) and get some stuff done without me feeling like I need a nap.
aigre-douce at 10:14 p.m.