2003-10-26
sick on a sunday night
My buddy list is a huge fan of turning melon when really, no one has updated since I checked it last. I swear it does it to get me excited. My LJ, however, doesn't always tell me when someone has left a comment like it's supposed to. And lots of times, it refuses to show my friends page until I've updated. I like the way my computer enjoys manipulating me. Hmph.
Today's been rather uneventful, I suppose. A good day, over all. I got up to get ready for church, felt really tired (I can't sleep these days and wake up at odd hours), and was very happy to find out that I could go back to bed because we'd forgotten to set our clocks back. Ah, love it. Went to church, sat with Mauretta, and saw Seth right as I was leaving. I hardly see him anymore, maybe once a month, usually for about ten minutes, max.
My life has changed drastically in the past year, as far as people I spend my time with goes. Most have moved or are moving (Seth!), and others have just changed so much I don't even enjoy their company anymore. It's not just them changing, because I don't necessarily hold the same values I did a few months ago. I don't get excited about alcohol so much, I really never have. Yes, I enjoy leisurely sipping drinks, but as far as getting blasted, I'm just not really interested anymore. That goes for drugs, too. It's practically an occasion if I smoke a cigarette now, let alone do other things. Unless I've just really had a stressfull day, cigarettes now make me sick. This saddens me a bit, but I'll get over it. It's healthier not to smoke anyway, right? Sigh.
At any rate. For the past week or two, I've had dizziness spells (ha, but I couldn't think of any other way to word that), occassional nausea, and I still can't sleep. I shake, too. It's really weird, especially for the girl who used to drink, what, three double- or quadruple- shot cappuccinos a day. I can't drink coffee at all now, really. I said that to say that I spent the afternoon laying down, reading The Dirty Girls' Social Club, which I highly recommend. I started it last night when I couldn't sleep and finished it about thirty minutes ago. Sooooo good. I'm hoping that this ill feeling is just a result of changing birth control pills and nothing more. I can see this getting old soon.
No church for me tonight. I almost wanted to go, despite how crappy I feel, just so I wouldn't have to be alone in the house at night. I really hate that. I'm generally pretty hardcore, but you can forget it if I'm home alone at night. I don't have dogs or anything. I live in a neighborhood, yes, but it's just within city limits (read: middle of almost nowhere). And a house that strongly resembles the one in 28 Days Later down the street. It's just creepy. I want to rest, and I need to, but I'm not to comfortable with that idea just yet. Stupid house that has possessed electronics and makes creepy sounds randomly. Puh.
On to listening to Ella Fitzgerald and cleaning my room, I think. Sorry if this was a bit disjointed, I think it's the not sleeping that did it.
aigre-douce at 6:56 p.m.