2003-11-06
me bitching
I'm irritable as fuck. This has to be one of THE worst weeks of my life. It doesn't help that I don't get to see or talk to James much this week because money has to be saved for his trip. I can't call his cell phone, because he has to save on minutes so he can call me when he's in California. I can't call his house phone, because it's long distance. And he's immersed in his game (Marrow Wind, which is actually kinda interesting), so he's never online anymore. Sigh. I am too needy. I need a change of environment and people. I'm lonely all the time, and angry as fuck yet too crowded (family) all at the same time.
I am beyond frustrated. I've been doing this housecleaning thing....and it sucks. I really don't think the money's worth all the shit I have to do. Because I can almost guarantee it won't be a lot of money, anyway. And I spend most of the time I should be cleaning picking up after everyone's shit they leave all over the house, THEN I get down to the actual cleaning. And since I'm the only person in this house that ever makes any sort of effort to keep the house clean, it feels like I'm cleaning of a year's worth of dirt and scum everytime I clean, though that's not the case. It's so fucking frustrating, because I can clean it, but no one else even bothers to help keep it clean. I'm considering quitting, because it's a really thankless job, and I'm not going to get paid much anyway. Not to mention that it eats up all my time that I could be doing other things ... like hanging myself or playing video games, ah ha. Ughhhh. I ordered the Holiday magalogs for Mark., which I've been selling attempting to sell....and they sent me the magalogs for last month, which can no longer even be ordered from. Me = hella angry. So now I have to reorder magalogs, then wait for THOSE to come in. I hate my life, I really do.
aigre-douce at 5:40 p.m.