2005-01-07
My grandmother died.
Life has been a little crazy lately. I went home for the holidays, and was sick with the flu on Christmas. When I came back to Atlanta, I was still sick, but went to work anyway. That didn't work well, as it made me even sicker, and I was home sick for two days. The second day I was home sick, I received a phone call from my parents. My grandmother was in the hospital and not expected to live more than a few days.
I hadn't seen my grandmother for more than a half a year, and it's something I felt pretty guilty about. Granted, I really hadn't had the chance to see her with moving and then working all the time, but the guilt was still there. The last time I spoke with my grandmother, it was on the phone, and she begged me to come see her soon. Maybe if I really wanted to and had been less selfish, I could have taken a weekend off and made the long drive, but I didn't. So when my parents called, I knew I had to see her as quickly as possible.
Willis sympathetically granted me time to go to Mobile, and James, Liger, and I had left the city within two hours. We drove Liger to Ozark, where he stayed with James' parents. From there we drove straight to the hospital my grandmother was staying in. It was just before midnight, but I had to see her. I was so afraid that if I didn't see her, I'd miss her, and she would die before I'd get the chance to say goodbye. My fears were founded. When I saw my grandmother, she could barely form any words, and lied there the majority of the time making gasping sounds. She didn't say anything to me, but I know she knew I was there. We watched each other for a while, while I feigned cheer. I kissed her on the forehead a few times, and finally it was time to leave. James and I picked up Hot Pockets and headed to my cousin David's house, where we spent the night. At five the next morning, my dad called me; my grandmother had died. I barely missed seeing her. Funeral arrangments were made, and I spent the next week visiting with relatives I hadn't seen in a long time.
It was nice visiting with the family. At first it was a bit awkward for James, but after getting to know my family better, he fell in love with them. Keltin and Durand, my cousins that I spent so much time with during Mardi Gras of last year, absolutely fell in love with James, and he with them. Keltin is very anti social and a bit shy, but was all over James like green on grass. Durand, whom I've been very close to, abandoned me for James as well. The only person who didn't seem to warm up to James very much was my grandfather, who accidentally backed into James' car. However, I believe this was more because of his grief than anything else.
James liked my family SO much that he now wants to move to Pensacola, to be nearer to them. While I'm flattered and happy that he likes my family so much, I love Atlanta. For a while now James has been trying to get me to move out of the hub of the city and to one of the towns that makes up Atlanta. I have stood my ground and said absolutely not to this idea. However, when I came home last night, I realized that our apartment is really crappy. It's not homelike at all. It doesn't feel cozy or intimate, and that is not because of my trying to make it so. I also realized how filthy Atlanta is. I love the city, but I'd like it a lot more if I could relax in it. In short, I have agreed with James that when our lease is up, we should move to one of the suburbs of Atlanta. Hopefully we can find an apartment that's less rent than this one and for a much better value. When James and I looked at apartments in Dothan, there were these really nice apartments for $600 that we liked, but that we thought were way too expensive. However, we are now living in a studio apartment with thin walls in a crowded, dirty area for $701 a month. You do the math. I am excited about moving.
I was worried about not having a job since I was gone for so long because of everything that's happened lately, but I called Willis to tell him I was home, and he didn't have any sort of "we need to have a big talk" tone when I spoke to him. On that note, yesterday when I was going through Enterprise, I stopped by Dakota Coffee Works, the one where I used to work. It's very different from what I remembered it as (it seems their quality has decreased). Julie (the owner's daughter; bitch) made my breve, and was very pleasant. Barrett spoke, too, and was his usual blase self. They asked me what I was up to, and I told them that I now live in Atlanta. It was nice saying that, especially since they're stuck in Enterprise. I am proud to report that I was very pleasant.
Today I am off, something that I'm thankful for since I need the rest, but something that also worries me, as I haven't worked in so long. Today James and I took Liger for a walk in the historic Oakland Cemetary, across the street. Neither of us had been there before, and it was very interesting. However, now I have a headache and am a bit wiped out, and still have some unpacking to do. Ciao!
aigre-douce at 3:08 p.m.