2003-05-05
Sex, Drugs, and Rock&Roll
Such was my weekend. Goodgoodgood. After class Friday Kimm and I went to Dakota then to her house, and it went uphill from there. Meaning, I gave up on doing my paper, but had a fun weekend after that.
We got to Kimm's, made the tastiest KoolAid ever, and hula-hooped. Talked to scene kids on Kimm's bling (kill me quick, I'm the biggest dork ever!!!), then Dusty came to E*town to take Kimm, Bethanie, and me to lunch at the wonderful Carlisle's. Which wasn't so wonderful Friday, but that's nobody's fault except those in the kitchen (hair in my food, what's up with that?!)....and moody people, er, person. When I say shut up, do it. I'll like you a whole lot more. I was doing my damnedest to be in a supergreat mood to make up for my suckass week (oh, the list goes on and on and on), but nooooo. Some people just refuse to let you be happy when they can make you miserable. That's fine, you know who you are.
The four of us went to the tattoo place, and Kim and Bethanie got lightning bolt tattoos and my belt buckle inspired Dusty to get his star tattoos filled in. Dusty is one of the coolest guys ever, I will say that. Nice work, Kim. They're the cutest couple in the whole world, I love 'em. I have decided to get my belly, ear, and toe pierced. As in, the top of my toe, which is only seasonal and will grow out. It can be done, I asked. I'm exciiiiited. Tattoo Man Tim is the best.
Went back to Dakota to pick up my paycheck (no comment) and hung out with Chris and Crystal outside for maybe an hour. They're two of my favorite people, though after Crystal teasing me so much (not in front of Chris) about me having a crush on him (I dunno, I don't think I do, I just feel an affinity for him), I kind of ignored Chris. By this time of the day I was grouchy (thank you, --------) and feeling the effect of the caffeine/ephedra pill I had taken earlier to combat the effects of NO SLEEP as of late. He was such a nice guy, anyway. And flirted with me a bunch. For that matter, I honestly don't think he has a crush on me, either. How bout that.
Ended up hanging out with Kimm and Dusty Friday night (was supposed to hang out with Ben, whom I could not get a hold of). I was worried about butting into their alone time and offered to go home, but they assured me otherwise. We went to Ruby Tuesday, talked about sex, and had to endure the shrieks of an entire softball team from nearby tables. We went to explore a shut-down park afterwards, but lightning, thunder, and the darkness prevented us from seeing much.
Work was good, I love Crystal. And Scary Harry made an appearance, but was extremely impersonal. I wonder who spoke to him...
I met the coolest guy ever. I was making his drink, and thought I heard him singing along to the mixed cd I had playing. I decided he couldn't possibly be singing along to it; he was a flight student, after all, and chalked it up to not having had enough sleep lately. Then he was like, "So who's the Dashboad fan?" So we got to talking, and he likes really good music. The best thing about it is that he's liked it for awhile, this isn't a new thing he's into. Yeahhh, I'm a fan. We had the greatest conversation ever, I hope I see him again.
Showtime
I wore a black cotton strapless dress with a lightning bolt necklace and platform flip flops. The effect it had was wonderful. Who knew??? I had a superfun night, despite outside efforts against it. I felt bad when Kimm got pulled over giving us rides home, but I wasn't the one in such a damn hurry to get home and get some sleep. The music was good, too. I wish I'd gone to more Hadji shows so I'd know all of the words and the fact that it was a reunion show would've meant more. It was fun, though.
What sucked was seeing Chris and his girlperson with whom he's in love, Robin. And by 'sucked', I mean it felt like someone had sucked all the air out of my lungs when I saw them. It was dark in the parking lot, but I immediately recognized that silhouette. You can't miss him. And I felt like someone had hit me, and I was shocked though I'd known to expect to see it and it didn't mean anything to me, anyway, right, and my eyes welled up with tears. And I got angry when I saw her, not because she reminded me of Alex of the provocative letters to Elliott, not because she wasn't cute (slightly attractive, at best), and not because she didn't even seem like Chris's type. But because she seemed empty, expressionless, like she didn't care to be there. And Chris was so happy to be there with her. It hurt, surprisingly (what is this, Clueless?). And it almost bothered me that he made sure to say hi to me. I don't know how to describe that. I'd made up my mind to be nonchalant and not notice he was there, especially not with her, and then he has to be the nicest guy in the world, as always. And then when I was dancing near the edge of the pit, a girl in a dress surrounded by slamming lunatic boys and cute boys who were flirting with me, I turned around to check out the crowd....and immediately made eye contact with Chris, who I guess was watching me. He was way back in the right corner, too, it wasn't like he was right behind me. He grinned and made a face, so I made one back. That Chris. I danced some more, then went outside to smoke with Annemarie, or whomever it was at the time, I don't remember. At one point he and Robin (who never once was made known of my existence or made eye contact with me, for which I'm somehow happy) walked by and he comes over and asks how I'm doing....and I couldn't say anything at all. Perhaps it was the fun I'd had earlier with Buck that did my thought process in, but I just couldn't get anything out. He grinned and was like, "Girl, what are you on?" and I asked if it was noticeable and he was like, "Yeah, it's obvious to me" and I started to say something, then quit, then just told him we'd talk about it later. At one point I went back in, and it was after the show and people were just socializing. I had been talking to Walt, who was being stupid so I turned my back to him. And I saw Chris and Robin. Then Robin spotted A-hole Matt (always an ass to everyone, he's just so scene....but he's a staple, what can I say) with whom she used to have an obsession with (so says jealous Chris--"Why can't she talk like that about me?"). Robin spotted Matt, and suddenly acted as if she were really a living person and not dead, like she had been all night. She jumped up and ran right over, arms in the air, ready for a hug. I felt Chris break in half, and my heart broke for him. He just stood there. He didn't see me,and I walked back outside, hurting for him. I smoked to relieve the pressure on my chest (how ironic) and was given crap about it. I was then drawn into one of the best conversations I've ever had in my life with Hunter Wolf. He's cooler than I ever expected. Chris made sure to say bye before they checked out, and I put on a smile for him and told him to have fun rather loudly, at which he grinned that grin of his that takes up a whole room. And they left. And my stomach twisted inside so I went looking for Buck and Dusty.
It bothers me because if that's how I naturally react to seeing them together, how do I really feel? I hadn't expected to feel that way at all. I didn't think I liked him that much. And I don't like him. He just makes my day better when I see him. Who else would volunteer to get a pedicure with me and then buy us cigars??? Only Chris; even Elliott's not that girly. He can't really like her, she's not cute enough! She's really not at all. My heart hurts for him. Please say it's natural, surely that can't be happening.
Oh well, I had a sure-fire (so says me, anyway, not that I've been given reason to believe otherwise at all) makeout with Buck (who's crazy and beautiful and notorious) had someone not wanted to rush back to Enterprise so badly. Gahhhh. I need a car.
Note: Elliott is well aware of my hardcorexmakeout plans. The thought of me making out with lots of people doesn't sit well with him, but he thinks I should pick up a guy for a night. This is only b/c I seriously doubt I'd be able to do it, but he firmly believes otherwise, and wants to make his point. He and I have decided to date when we see each other, etc, and date other people, too. Neither one of us wants to let go of the other (ahem, the boy hates the phone, and is suddenly having it on all the time, answering it at the movies--more than once, happy to talk to me--, and we stayed on the phone for hours Saturday, and not b/c I was just rambling, he was talking!), so this is the best solution we could think of. Good, because I love him more than I could possibly say. I like that boy a lot, hopefully we'll be in closer proximity soonsoonsoon. And by that, I mean fall semester (fingers crossed). This current arrangement is cool b/c I can now makeout with whomever I want, whenever I want. Yeahhh. And Elliott and I? Makeout partners...at my suggestion. AhHA! It all works out.
I ended up sleeping all day (church from 8-9:45, home/sleep at 10-4). Meaning, no work has been done on this WAYYYYY LATE paper. Crap. Oh well, I only have one class to attend for the rest of the week, a final Thursday, then a test and another final Friday. Then I'm THROUGH! Until the 29th, when I go back for the summer, that is. Damn it all.... Oh well, that's more hours out of the way. So I can go to UA ASAP! Where Dusty and Buck may be, also. Yay. Okay, paper time.
Later:
My world is rosy. He was sweet, he understood. And he called me sweetie. All is well and I'm loved/in love.
aigre-douce at 12:44 a.m.