2003-06-11
Updates by Request
I have decided my new hair slightly resembles Brynn's from Real World Las Vegas. How very appropriate. Since we all know "drama is Lauren's middle name." Thank you, Chris.
I am burning up. Mom refused to let me do my laundry last night when I got home from work (since you know, I have so much time on my hands), so I decided to wear my huge khaki skirt from Le Gap. It's ankle-length and A-line, and would be lots cuter to me if I did not have to hold it up as I walk. Damn me for only being 5'0". Oh well, at least James is the perfect height. I think I need to make a slit up the back of this skirt so I can walk more freely. I must admit, it does look rather cute with the tank top and flip flops I am wearing. And my hair does look really cute, too. I have minimal makeup today; for me that means foundation, powder, blush, mascara, eyeliner (b/c I don't have eyes and lashes like yours), and then some lipstick w/liner. I look very chic. How bout that. I was walking to a class, and I smiled at a woman who was sitting on a bench, smoking. It's the South, hello, smiling at and greeting everyone is required! At any rate, I said hello to this woman (whom I do not believe I have ever seen before, and have certainly never talked to unless I'm sincerely mistaken), and she looks at me and goes, "Did you get your hair cut? It looks great!" I got my hair cut yesterday. I thought it was a bit odd, but added spice to my day, of course.
I feel very accomplished; today I finally got the rest of my books, and spent $22.24 in the school store on school supplies. Yay for me on being prepared, finally. And Desiree gave me money last night to buy cigarettes...I so appreciate it. I love that girl. She is coming over tonight, I am happy. It is bad when you have to borrow money to support a habit....too bad I won't/can't quit. It's way too stressful with Mom being off and home all summer. I hate it. I would have had money to buy my cigs myself, had I not been moved to give $20 to a woman to help buy needy kids stuff for a church trip. I know what that feels like, not having the money to buy rad things that everyone else has on a trip when you're a kid. That's why I only want ONE child, if I ever have any. So they'll be well provided for. Because I certainly am not. Mom decides to tell me yesterday that I may not be going to UA this spring after all. Hella mad = me. If my dad would give me the goddamn tax return so I could get financial aid with, I wouldn't be having this problem. Also, I am now ready to whore myself to make money for a car/getting out of here. Though I'm thinking I'd only make enough for the car. I need to look into that. My life is so Requiem it's ridiculous. Only I don't do drugs. Often. Except diet pills, which still, I don't do often. As is apparent by looking at me, I think. I'm a nice size, I suppose, I'm just not toned at all, and could stand to lose a little more weight. Hence my trip to the gym the other night, which kicked my ass, abs, and thighs. The problem with losing weight, however, is that my ass likes to go with it. It hurts that my chest is minimized so easily upon any weight loss I have, but my butt? You just don't do that. I have to draw the line on that one. My back is nice and clear, I think I will wear my new turqoise MKA (if you're not in the know, that's Mary-Kate and Ashley, duhhh) crocheted halter top soon. I'm in love with it. Now I just have to figure out something to wear with it......
Other news - James is amazing, and if I was going to get 'official' with anyone, it would be him. Elliott's supposed to come down in a week or so...but we know how that goes. I honestly don't think much would happen between us. Maybe a kiss, but that is it. Now that I am no longer with him, people feel free to talk openly about how they really felt/feel about Elliott. The concensus is that not only was he ugly (you saw pictures; I don't agree, but hey, whatev), but he treated me like shit. I'm not sure if I agree with that part, either. I know that he was a little selfish and unwilling to go out of his way for me, but does that really mean he treated me like shit? And yeah, there was that whole cheating on me, but I will say in his defense that he was in his first year of college, four hours away (hello, the reason I didn't want to get serious in the first place!), and he "lied to save my feelings". Too bad no one can save Allison's face. Like how I take it out on her instead of him? How very classic girl of me. I suck. But she's done so much more to deserve it, so it's all good. James treats me like a goddess. C'mon, anyone who's willing to drive at least forty-five minutes to and from to see me every night he can? Got a cellphone so we can keep in touch all the time (though I'm sure that's not the only reason; I'm not that arrogant)? Offers to do my laundry?? Loves my family? Holy shit, who is this guy? Besides the greatest catch of the century, I mean. I'm losing my wariness of him, too. I mean, I'm no longer as suspicious that I'm going to find out something horrible about him/us (like it's all just a bet/hoax, courtesy of Those Who Hate Me). And he has proven himself to be a stupendously great guy....
Hmm, will finish later. As it is, I have to go buy my last book from a nice lady and get to my art class. Ciao!
Edit: Okay, am back. Most obviously. Both of my classes got out early today; I had a bio test (multiple choice saves my life), so we could just leave when we finished (for me, I think that was about 25 minutes into the class), then for art appreciation we were supposed to draw outside....then it rained. So I am now sitting in the computer lab of Talmadge Hall, waiting for Aaron's class to end so he can drive me home. How very swank; I have boys driving me everywhere. On that note - I miss James. We've hung out every day since we met, and due to (his) family drama (was kicked out, but is back home now--I'm still proud of pride-sucking abilities), I have not seen him since Sunday night. The drama-filled Sunday night.
Sunday sucked. Instead of taking my usual Sunday morning-afternoon nap that generally lasts all day, I decided to stay up and get things accomplished. On the bright side, I now have a nice cordless for my phoneline. I'm in love with my phone, despite its lack of rad cuteness, but that's for another time. Shana and I had made plans to go out for my birthday (Mikata - Japanese steakhouse-whooooo!!!), and then I find out she's talked MEGA shit about me. Things I was stupid enough to confide in her, she definitely told other people. And not only that, but she exaggerated and lied to a grrreat extent. = Angry angry angry me. Seriously. How do you call yourself my best friend and then do that? Honestly. I hate people. I think right now everyone hates most people, but still. People in this area suck a huge donkey ass. I hate them and cannot wait to be out of here asap. At any rate, I had to act like I did not know what had been said about me, and then was taken out to dinner by her. Dinner was super nice, but my heart was not in it. I don't think hers was, either. I did get sung Happy Birthday to me by the people that work there (triple woot) and a fish that was carved out of fresh pineapple which was tres beau. (Editor's note: I do not know whether pineapple and fish are masculine or feminine verbs, and I do not feel like looking them up. So, if it's supposed to be 'tres belle' instead.....suck it up). And we got our picture taken, too. Mighty fine picture of me, Shana looks annoyed with the camera. I went to James' for the first time ever afterwards, and met his dad and had a reunion with his brother (haha, we went to middle school together, and he was in love with me at the time, sooo cuuute). We hung out in James's room and he showed me pictures that go wayy back. It was really cute/nice. It felt wonderful to just be able to hang out with each other, not in a rush (not as much of a rush as usual, anyhow), and by ourselves. We got our snuggle on, and ended up leaving his house at 11.....which is my curfew, and he lives a good 45 minutes away. Then the car he was driving broke down, and there was no fixing it. Odd battery. He got the truck, we started down the road....and had to go back for his wallet, just in case. Pass his mom going to my house, get there, and I've left my keys in the other purse. Leighton came to my rescue, after about ten minutes of searching for other entries and banging on her window. No one was up, I thought I was safe. I then find out that Desiree's moving Friday (as opposed to next Monday) and James got into a bunch of crap with his parents. The next day he and his mom got into a fight, and he got kicked out. Things worked out somewhat, though, and he is now back at home. Because of all that drama and the fact that he does not have insurance on his parents' autos and his in the shop, I have not seen him. And it is taking its toll on my torso, which misses being held/hugged. Gahhhhhh.
I am now starving. I had coffee this morning, but did not eat to ensure that I would be in class on time....I've had two cigarettes, it is 1:10, and I am hunnnngrryyy. Hopefully Aaron will get out of class on time. Aaron's a cool guy, but he does like me, and I have to draw that line (b/c I'm a one-man kind of girl, despite what Chris et al. might think), which is never fun. I want to be friends, and yes, we can hug. But seriously flirting is a no-go. We have lunch plans for tomorrow, and then I'm supposed to go to Adam McDonough's house, which is funny since I was sooo in lust with him my sophomore year; he graduated then. Elliott and I were good friends then, and he had a crush on my then-best friend, so we made a deal that we'd each tell our crushes we had the hots for them. I don't think E ever told Larissa, but it doesn't matter since they hooked up, anyway. Adam, on the other hand (I've never been so nervous in my life! My knees were literally knocking together!) was super sweet and hugged me and told me I was a sweetheart. He and Aaron are friends, and Aaron mentioned me to him one day, Adam didn't remember me but wanted to, so tomorrow I have to go hang out with them, haha. Ohh, nervous/awkwardness, what's up?
Ooooh, Aaron's out, time to go eat!
aigre-douce at 10:45 a.m.