2003-08-19
egad
Egad.
The last three days have been trying, to say the least. Sunday I was home all day with the family, went to church, and then to Allison's for movies...I hate being around my family that much; it drives me crazy. Plus it doesn't help that when Mom's running late, she likes to blame it on me and then we fight. On the way home from Allison's, James got pulled over for absolutely invalid reasons. I hate bored, cranky cops.
Yesterday started out okay ... Allison was supposed to have come over around nine....it was more like 11 when she showed up. She hadn't seen Clockwork Orange, so we watched that. After which I was in the mood for something light-hearted, like The Waterboy, or basically anything else. Allison doesn't like Adam Sandler, and had seen all the other movies I'd rented, so then we had to watch Pulp Fiction. Do not misunderstand, I had wanted to see it. After all, I rented it. I just wanted something almost drama-free, though. Nope, Allison has to have things her way, then make me somehow feel guilty. Auuughhhhh. I don't like people who don't relax in my house. I mean, some people make themselves comfortable, and relax. Then there are the other people that kind of perch on their seat, not because they're in suspense, either. And I have a pretty nice house, and it's comfortable. It's just really insulting psychologically. Puh, maybe that's just me. At any rate, because Allison took so long getting to my house, my mom and siblings got home before Pulp Fiction was over. My mom just about raised hell because she overheard a scene with the "M.F word", and the kids were in the house. Hmmm, if her kids had been doing what they were supposed to in the first place, doing their homework, leaving my guests alone, instead of sitting right next to us, knowing Mom would not approve of them doing so, then it wouldn't really matter, now would it? I made my point to Mom, but by that time she had embarassed my guests so that they did not want to finish the damn movie. Allison was like, (you'll remember she's the one that just had to see it)"Oh, it makes no difference to me if I see the end of it now. I don't really want to." This pissed me off majorly. I could have seen something light after the horrorshow Clockwork Orange, but noooooooo. And I liked what I saw of Pulp Fiction, but it's not the point. It's not just that, it's the fact that Allison refuses to like things. She's super picky about everything, her food, her style, etc, etc. But you'd think she'd at least try things with an open mind? Nope. She likes what she likes, and just is not moved to give anything else a chance. For instance, I wanted her to try chai. I made it for her, handed her the mug .... And the first thing she said was, "Oh, but I'm not going to like it." Now, how the hell can she be so certain that she's not going to like it before she tries it????! Oh, she tried it, for a sip or two, the entire time this sort of bemused look on her face. "Do you like it?" (nervous laugh from her)"No, not really. I'm sorry." No, you're not sorry. Otherwise you'd try it without thinking "Oh, I'm not going to like it."
While we had been watching the movie, Mrs. Popwell called (I've started selling the Avon Mark line, which is marketed for teens and women in their twenties, or so), and needed me to meet her to sign the Mark contract, etc. Plus I had noticed that though Barrett had said that he would mail my tips, check, etc (which I should have already received, no matter which day he mailed them), I still had not received them. I really wasn't looking forward to going up there, either. So while they watched the movie, I ended up having to get showered and ready so I could meet Mrs. Popwell before she had to leave, and catch Barrett, in the event he got off at five. The stress of having to go up to the coffeeshop, plus Allison and the movie, and my mom, was making me supremely pissed off. I met Mrs. Popwell, who's really nice, and got my Mark stuff, which I am in love with. Afterwards I went to the coffeeshop.
James came in with me, we didn't say a word, just walked in, and Barrett comes out of the back, envelope with my name on it in hand, smiles, and says "Here you go, ma'am. Thanks," and walks off. My flight school friend, Scott, was there. I think he knew why I was there, because he smiled at me and watched me as I retrieved my cds, but didn't really know what to say, except for "See you later" or something. As soon as I walked out, I felt this really wierd sensation across my chest, and felt this force pushing inside against my chest. I tried holding my breath, to keep it back, but it was no good. I started sobbing.
There's something about losing your first job and missing your best friend that will do that to you.
James was really concerned about me, and likes to hold me when I cry. I hate crying in front of people, but I suppose it is worse to cry alone? To perk me up some, we went to the tobacconist to get some special cigarettes. I couldn't remember the kind Suzie had suggested, and called her on James's cell. Didn't get in touch with her. Went to The Diner for milkshakes and dinner. While we were wating for our food, I was going to call my mom to tell her how everything went....Apparently we had left his cell at the tobacconist's....which closed at 6. When we realized it was missing, it was already 6:45. Lauren fucks up again.
James is stressed about his finances. Friends owe him money, and lots of it. It helps if you can get in touch with said friends. Which he hasn't been able to. I'm worried about him.
This morning I found out that Kim, that girl I used to be thisclose with, went off to college, and didn't even say bye to me. Or return my stuff, for that matter. That's okay, I still have her black dress. Mine, all mine.
Thinking about college, I finally bit the bullet and checked my grades from this past semester. Oh my sweet lord Jesus. The only class I had a passing grade in was Art Appreciation, which I made a D in. I love Ms. Earnest. This means I get to take all those lovely courses all over again. Oh, fuck that. Fuck me, rather. Because now my GPA hurts me to look at it. Goddamn.
I sincerely hope today is better, and gets that way in a hurry. On the upside, this morning I do look much thinner, somehow. Today I have to watch Ghost World, the rest of Pulp Fiction, and Life is Beautiful, which are all overdue. I'm going to have to look for another job soon. Perhaps I could waitress at The Rawls at night? [The Rawls being Enterprise's ritziest restaurant, which is located downtown - in front of the Boll Weevil Monument, heh heh - inside an historic hotel.] The coffeeshop really was the ideal job for me, which is why I'm so upset over having lost it. And for no reason, too! That part makes me even angrier. All because the owner's daughter doesn't like it. I sincerely and very deeply hope that Julie McGhee rots in hell.
Where is that boy James?
aigre-douce at 10:33 a.m.