2004-02-18
Rant, dream tangents, and other stuff
It would seem I am losing my gaming touch. James sucessfully kicked my ass almost every time we played a game last night. Which was disappointing to me, but now that I think about it, probably a nice morale boost for him since I beat him all the time (hehehe).
Yesterday I was cleaning my room, and was going to hang up all my laundry, when I got smart and decided to pack for my trip instead. I'm already all packed to go, which is impressive for me. Tomorrow Michelle will come pick me up, then we'll head straight back to Mobile. Friday Keltin (one of the boys) has a school play, then I'm babysitting either Friday night and Saturday, or Saturday night and Sunday while they go to their Mardi Gras ball. Then there will be lots of Mardi Gras goings-on, and I'll come home Wednesday. Whoo.
I can't really say I'm that glad to be getting out of town when I just got back, but I do need to get away from my family, namely my mother. She really is not the best example of a mom, but I don't need to go into it. It's just aggravating when I'm the daughter and she's the mom, and it seems the other way around a lot of the time. Like when I have to pay her and the kids' overdue library fines ($6), when I'm not the one who had anything out late, or is the one with an income. Okay, maybe I will go into it. But feel free to skip this paragraph, I just have to vent. Yesterday, my parents and I went out to lunch (Carlisle's). During the course of our meal, an elderly man came in. Now, let me explain that Carlisle's is not fast food, and it's pretty much the nicest Enterprise has to offer during the lunch hours. So this guy comes in, wearing a flannel house coat, sweat pants, and house slippers/sandals (which my parents didn't see). He also had a cloud of cigaratte smoke and heavy body odor around him. It appeared that he was very poor, obviously didn't go out to restaurants very often (he seemed unsure of what to do; he wasn't rude or anything). So what did my parents do? Start making snide comments about the way the man smelled (which, admittedly, was a strong, unpleasant odor, but I don't think the man could help it much) to be "funny". They weren't loud enough so that the man could hear them (I pray), but it was still really rude. I chided them, and said, "Obviously your parents didn't treat you any manners," to which my mom replied in a huff, "Oh, and you think you were born with yours?" I said, "No, I had to learn them for myself." It just really annoys me, because it was really mean, the man could obviously not help it much, and not only that (here comes the inevitable), but these people are the same people that are so Christian and force me to go to church? What the hell. When we were paying the check and out of the hearing range of the old man, I pointed out to them that the man was obviously poor, and had house slippers or sandals on, which they hadn't realized. But it's just things like that, making fun of someone before they try and think about what another's situation might be that really angers me. And then there's how my mom just got a brand-new, expensive purse, but doesn't "have the money" to pay library fines that she created, or to even buy me a long-sleeved undershirt. Priorities? It's not like she doesn't have other (nice) purses. I think I would rather have less money spent on me during the holidays, and just have my basic needs covered, thanks. She's just so childish, and then is this tyrant that I have to put up with because I'm "lucky [they] even let [me] live here". You know, since they've tried helping me get out into the real world so much, or at least college. They get angry when I try to plan to go off to college, but don't want to have anything to do with helping me plan (i.e., I've tried keeping them included), either. Mom gets mad at me sometimes because I don't have a job, which is really irritating, since it's not like I have a mode of transportation to a job. And they don't want me going off to school (you know, you really don't need a car while you're at school, because campuses tend to provide everything you need) until I get a car!! I'm so angry/frustrated I could (and often do) cry. And I feel bad when I talk about it to other people or post about it here, because I know it's the same old thing, and there's nothing anyone else can do about it. It's something I'm going to have to change myself, but it's really hard even with help, and I'm going to have to do it against my parents' wishes, apparently. Goddamn, I'm exhausted. It's just so frustrating, and I'm so tired of their attitudes. It's overwhelming.
On the bright side, I have an incredible boyfriend (read his latest LiveJournal entries; go ahead, there's the link on the upper left) whom I have been able to see all but one of the last eight days. He hung out with his family on Sunday, and is coming to see me this afternoon. Considering the past months, that's pretty damn impressive. And we always have so much fun together (and the most incredible sex, to be quite frank). He's in every dream I have (which may be because I wear his olive green Marine tee to bed), and we're always a team in them. I missed you in my sleep
Last night Suzie called me about some New Orleans drama, and I told her she should send me a PJ's card, so whenever I go to PJ's, I can show that I'm a family member of an employee, and get free coffee. She laughed and said, "Family members aren't really supposed to get free coffee!" Uh, whoops.
My back is itching out of control, and I don't know why. I really want some macaroni and cheese. Off to take care of these things.
aigre-douce at 11:48 a.m.