2008-12-17
Good News, and Christmas
I'm awake at 5:45 in the morning due to more neighborhood drama. I woke up with M. at 4 this morning, and was awake when he left for work at 4:30. I went back to bed, and soon dozed off, fantasizing about all the security measures I would add to whatever house we buy. My dreaming was soon interrupted by the sound of someone walking around on my front porch. I woke up and hid under the covers to call the cops. They came, and didn't see anyone, but told me that people in this neighborhood are pissed off that the houses are being bought from under their families, and then being sold for large profits. [Um, I'm renting.] Then, they target certain homes and break in repeatedly. I told them about the coupe following me and driving by the house repeatedly, and the cops said they were probably planning on breaking in again, to which I replied, "Are you kidding me?! What do they think I'm hiding in here, gold?!" The cop laughed, and told me about a musician who lives nearby, who has been broken into three times, and has lived in the area as long as we have [less than a year]. The cop speculated that the burglars are watching to see what's being taken into and out of the house, which I had assumed was the case.
Onto the good news!
After my extremely frustrated post night before last, I was talking to God, and I was like, "Look, this isn't fair, at all. I've been faithful and diligent, and crap keeps happening. 'Job' aside, you're gonna have to give me something to work with. I NEED something to encourage me, because I'm about to fold." Yesterday morning, I received a folder from the prestigious art college I applied to. I thought, "At last, the brochure I requested months ago!" Instead, I found a folder. In the right pocket was a letter:
Dear [me],
I am pleased to announce that you have been accepted for enrollment into the bachelor of fine arts program. Congratulations!
I GOT IN!
I really wasn't sure that I would make it. I've always been too intimidated to express interest in furthering any artistic skill I have. I've always been terrified that someone is going to realize that I'm not that talented, and announce to the world what an impostor I am. Which is silly, I realize, but it's the truth. This fear has gripped me so tightly that I've never had the guts to attend one single knitting class. Any crafty or creative talent I have, I've always kept under wraps, and have only let my creativity come out at home, and eventually, my old coffee shop. However, I learned that what I was doing was something I really loved and was very passionate about, so I decided to take it further and go to school for it.
I really was afraid I wouldn't get in, though. I'm not what I think of when I hear "[art school] student." I am an overweight geek with crazy, out of control hair. I am not chic. I am not hip. As lame as it sounds, I really didn't think I was cool enough to get accepted. Fortunately, I don't think that's what they judge.
I AM SO EXCITED!
For the first time since the shop (here out known as Java) closed, I'm excited about something realistic. Once again, the future seems to hold possibility and opportunity, instead of seeming like a gray drag into eternity. Life might not suck after all.
During the demotion meeting, one of my several faults was listed as "calling out too much, requesting too much time off." Um, I took a week off to do my reception, which we held in our house, since EVERY other place was booked on the date we picked (October 18). I told my boss upon being hired that I had that going on, and would need those dates. "Sure, no problem." I requested to work Thanksgiving, so I could have Christmas off, and for some reason, was given both off. [Um, the airport NEVER closes, and getting holidays off is really tricky.] I worked it so that a shift leader would cover one shift for me, because I had something I REALLY needed to do that day, and after it was covered, I told my boss about it (before said shift). And finally, I've been more than a few minutes late once ever, when my door was kicked in, and I could not leave my house until it was repaired and my house was secured. However, somehow, these things add up to "too much time off" for having worked here since August.
That being said, I have decided it's probably wisest to wait until the next semester [i.e., not January, like I'd hoped] to start school, to ensure I can keep my job. I'm going to have to take out BIG loans to pay for school, and I'm definitely going to need to continue working, sadly. However, I'll probably cut my hours down to 25-30, from the 50 I'm currently working.
In the meantime, I'll take advantage of these extra months by applying for scholarships, and finding really good financial aid, so it might work in my favor after all.
I'm not sure I mentioned this, but the brother who moved in with us originally moved up here to go to the art school I applied for. He's always been really arty, but like me, lacked the confidence in his skills to pursue a career built around them, until I pushed him. He fooled around with his application, and when I was applying, I discovered there was one form they were missing to complete his application, so when I submitted the form for mine, I also sent the one for my brother, unknown to him. He received his acceptance letter two weeks ago, and was happy but hesitant. Now that I'm in, however, he's really excited.
So, at the age of 24, I will FINALLY be seriously attending college. I attended the JuCo a year after I graduated from high school. However, since I've always been an advanced/college prep student, it was TOO easy, and after I aced the first semester, I stopped showing up. My second semester was during the summer, and I'd overloaded myself with classes, and it was also the start of my relationship with The Ex. I was forbidden by my parents to drop any of my 16 hours I was taking, so I just quit showing up, and spent my days with The Ex instead. It's something I regret (not showing up for class instead of dropping some of the classes), and it affected my GPA so intensely that I was rejected by my husband's school, and even the community college here, because in my quest for honesty, I included my two semesters at the JuCo, like an idiot. When applying for the art school, I just omitted my time at the JuCo from my application, hence my acceptance.
I've been kind of dreading going back to school now, since I'm older and more mature than the current college crowd. Let me make one thing clear - I have trouble connecting with people my own age, let alone people in other age brackets. I've always had an easier time connecting to people at least 10 years older than me, though. So, unless they're all teenage wizard/vampire-obsessed geeks like me, I have a hard time seeing how we might connect. Besides, of course, our interest in art, and the like. I mean, I'm married, I've never liked going out to clubs or bars much, and having seen what the real world has to offer, I'm no longer a bright-eyed, carefree kind of person, though I remain an optimist. Eh, we'll see.
I had no idea Christmas was next week, until my mom called me to coordinate my brother's trip home. I felt like I still had a couple of weeks, but apparently not. Given everything that's been going on, and my disconnection with the world outside the airport and home, I haven't felt the slightest twinge of holiday spirit. I haven't listened to any Christmas music, or watched a single Christmas movie, which is unusual for me, given that I am primarily driven by season. This year has been so awful that the miserable gray dreariness has drowned everything else out. Sure, the temperature has changed, and leaves have come and gone, but I haven't felt a sense of anything new or different, yet.
Now I am scrambling to get Christmas gifts together. My sister and I are both obsessed with the Tw*l*ght series, so I am making her a themed package. I put this [very addictive, I've had it on repeat for the last couple of weeks] playlist together, and I'll burn CDs of it. I bought her Alice's necklace from the movie, and I'm including this shimmery powder from VS, to make her skin glitter the way vampires' do in the sunlight. I'm also including an energy drink I discovered, called Venom. The one I'm using actually says 'Black Samba' V3n0m, so with the help of my label maker, I'm making it say 'Edw4rd Cu11en's' Venom. Finally, I'm giving her copy of Tw*l*ght back, which she lent me over a year ago, and I finally read it, starting right after I saw the movie. SO. GOOD. It's so nice to have something else to be obsessed with, now that HP is finished. Truthfully, all of the Tw*l*ght books have been written (except the one from Edward's perspective, which may or may not be finished), but it's still the beginning of the film franchise, and physical proof of other fans like me, so it's still exciting.
aigre-douce at 5:45 a.m.